Today's Triumphs and Changes

If you've read along the past two days I have had a lot I have been dealing with. I finally said, out loud, that I am still struggling with PPD, I have given up my 3 cup a day coffee vice, and I put away my fishbowl sized wine glass in trade for a tea kettle and some honey.

Yes, today was my first day in oh I don't know, years perhaps, that I have gone without coffee in the morning. Well let me start off by saying, it was torture! I thought I was slowly dying inside this morning. I woke up in a slight panic knowing that I would not be going downstairs to meet my friend, Cuisinart, all perky and ready to serve me my hot cup of liquid gold.

Once our little family was all congregated in the kitchen, I quietly pleaded said to my husband "how about I just have one coffee and eliminate the wine this week. I can't possible eliminate both." And all I got was a stern "NO" and an eye roll. Clearly he wasn't able to keep up with my mile-a-minute mouth after my three pots cups o' joe in the morning. This is sweet relief for him.

Well the upside to only drinking water and tea throughout the day oh wait there is none is that I am very hydrated! Yup, my pee is clear as caribbean water! Joy!

In between my coffee cravings and my constant bathroom breaks, my baby boy went through some major triumphs himself. He finally went to sleep on his own! Now for those of you who don't know, we have been rocking him to sleep every night and for every nap. If in the process of putting him in his crib he wakes up or wakes from the middle of his sleep, we have to take him out and rock him again. Sometimes these rocking sessions would last for over an hour. Or like the other night, three hours! It was pure insanity. And you wonder why I drank so much coffee in the morning, and enjoyed my gallon o' wine.

Whelp, today for his nap he just couldn't get settled on me. I had no other choice but to set him in his crib. to my surprise it only took him few 'shushes' through the monitor for him to sleep. He slept for an astounding 2.5 hours! I knew I was on to something, so for bed time, instead of my husband feeding him up in the nursery then having him sleep on his chest for an hour (which he desperately missed tonight) I fed him downstairs. Once those delicious 7oz of formula were gone, I brought him upstairs and placed him in his crib. I did get a few tears from him, but I didn't even make it down the stairs before he had stopped. Then I shushed him twice and he has been asleep ever since!

Seriously child!? It's been this easy all along?? But then I thought about it and said to my husband "you know, yesterday may have possibly been the last day I will ever rock him again" Yup, tears. It just made my heart sink. He's growing so fast, and we love all the changes, but when you do something for the last time, at that moment you never realize it, so you don't have a chance to treasure it. So perhaps I will rock him tomorrow, just so I can treasure the moment.

Well now my baby is asleep, this would have been my prime wine gulping sipping time, but no I just finished yet another pot of tea. The wine hasn't been an issue like the coffee was. And god knows my husband is happy because he hated washing those "damn wine glasses".

Now that my bladder is full, I have absolutely no caffeine running through my veins, I will now curl up and watch some Bates Motel.

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  1. I know how you're feeling about experiencing the "lasts." The "firsts" are so much fun, because you know for sure that you are seeing them for the first time. The lasts, just never know if it will be the last time or not. I'm sure that you're little man will need some more rocking in his lifetime---just maybe not always at bedtime!

  2. Luke goes to sleep on his own for the most part at this point, and we still rock sometimes. that won't be your last! no worries. glad you're stickin to your plan with the help of hubby :)

  3. I remember the last time I rocked my little to sleep. I used to do every day like you said; then one day he asked to be laid down in his crib and that was the end of it. There were some serious mommy tears. That was about 4 years ago; but every once in a while he still asks to be rocked to sleep and I love it!
    I'm sorry you're struggling with PPD; hopefully your detoxing will help! Coffee is oh so wonderful but oh so bad for you!!

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