I have noticed that throughout blogs, baby forums, friends and family, those who are new moms don't give their baby daddy's a break. Sure we are the ones that nurse all night long, we are the ones who pushed that little lovely out, and we are the ones going through massive physical changes. But what about the fathers?
It can be hard within the first few months to think about anything other than your pure exhaustion, the well-being of you new baby, and all the things you need to do around the house. I think we sometimes can take for granted or even forget about the needs of our husbands (or boyfriends) and not realize that they are adjusting to being a new parent as well, while taking care of us, baby, and dealing with our emotional breakdowns.
Being a new parent, as we know, is not easy and it can be a really tough transition from the life we had before our bundle arrived into this vast world. It takes a big emotional toll on us and our relationships. I know I
have had still have mood swings like crazy, I get mad at my husband for the dumbest of things, and sometimes I feel like I am the only who does anything around the house or with baby. But that is far from the truth.
My husband is amazing. He takes the baby right when he gets in from lobstering 14 hours straight without a fight. He puts him to bed so I can unwind with my blog and a glass of wine at night. Sometimes I just take it for granted. And in the emotional state that being a new mother puts me in, I forget that he is going through changes too.
At the same exact moment I became a new mother, my husband became a new father. Except he didn't have the luxury of bonding with the baby as much as I had over the past 10 months. So his bonding starts the day the baby is born. And sometimes the fathers can feel a little left out because us moms already have such a strong connection, and it may seem as though baby loves us more. Which is not true! We just have boobs.
Men, being men, may hide their emotions better than us. Trust me, they are scared, overwhelmed, and tired. But it's not manly to say that, so they don't. And sometimes I think we mistake that for them sailing through this like a piece of cake, or frankly just not caring.
So, sure, they may get agitated with you, or they may not do the dishes, after you've asked them too 12 times. Before we go out and blast them on social media to all of our friends, I think we need to take a step back and realize that they are new dads and are finding their way, just like us. I know I have to remind myself of this daily, because I can be a little impatient and bossy when I think he isn't listening to me. But it could be that he is just as sleep deprived as I am. Oh yeah ... and he has to put up with me on a daily basis...he definitely needs a break!