These past few months have not been easy, but they haven't been hard either. It has been so different, more so than I would have ever imagined. I strive for continuity, and that is what I loved so much about working. I would go into the classroom and my day was run by a bell schedule. I knew what I was to do every moment I was within those brick walls. Now, I take every moment at a time. I have had to learn to let go of what I thought I wanted and embrace what I now have.
It has been amazing! Once I made the decision to stay home I felt such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to worry about my child going to day care (not that there is anything wrong with those who have too), and my husband really truly supports me staying home. My boy has taught me so much about myself since we have been home this summer. He, at 4 months, has taught me flexibility, patience, and the ability to accept help.
At this point, I could never imagine going back to work with young children. I can't imagine missing even one moment. Over the past few months we have done so much together. We have gone to the beach (which he hated!), we have done cookouts (where he slept the entire time), went to the aquarium in Boston (that was more for me), and gone for many walks (which he does enjoy!), and we have just cuddled for hours (which is our favorite thing to do!)
My house is no longer pristine as it was 5 months ago, I do not shower every day, and sometimes I have to smell my clothes to make sure they are clean since laundry doesn't get done like it used too. But that is all part of adjusting to my new life as a SAHM. I will find a balance someday, but I don't struggle with that so much anymore, I just focus on the moments with my boy, since they go by so fast.
What I would have missed if I had been at work.... this makes it ALL worth it!