What No One Told You About {Pregnancy}

When you first find out that you are expecting, you go out and buy all the books, magazines, scour websites, and ask veteran moms what to expect. You will read about how pregnancy is really 10 months instead of 9 (who knew!?), mom's will tell you their morning sickness stories, and you will start to compile a list of questions to ask your doctor on the first prenatal visit. But once your pregnancy is over you realize that the books leave out a lot and mom's seem to forget to tell you certain things that would have been nice to know about pregnancy. So here you are, here are a few things that I had to figure out along the way, things I wish someone, anyone, would have told me!

 How your relationship changed instantly. 
Once you get those two lines indicating that you're expecting you start to go into baby mode. Everything is baby. You talk about baby, you shop for baby, you plan for baby, you revolve around baby. You go from being married (or dating) to becoming all consumed. But not only does it all revolve around baby, everything seems to revolve around you too! You get ALL the attention since you're pregnant (which gets annoying after a while, trust me). So you really have to work hard to make your man not feel neglected *sigh*.

 Not everyone gets the 'glow'. 
It's true. Though some people can wear pregnancy with such grace and beauty, the majority of us look like a busted can of biscuits covered in acne, mousey hair, chips nails, and oily skin. In between bouts of morning sickness and constipation, you use all your energy just to take a shower. So when people tell you that you have the pregnancy glow, and you are not that %1 that actually does, just smile nicely but know that they are just trying to make you feel good.

 You WILL get sick of pregnancy advice
I never got sick of the pregnancy advice that I sought out from sites such as BabyCenter.com or from books. I got sick of unwanted, unsolicited, baby advice from veteran mom's who "know it all", because they don't! Mom's love to tell you how they kept the weight gain down to a minimum by exercising through pregnancy (I sat there listening while shoving cake down my throat), they loved to share "their birth stories" as though their way of giving birth way the only way to do it. You get the point, they are annoying, and after you have your baby you will be one of those mom's giving advice. It's a vicious cycle. Oh and I will slap the next person who say's "you just wait" to every statement I make about what pregnancy is or isn't like.

 You will pee your pants at least once! 
I was never told that I would possibly be peeing my pants in the process of growing my little bundle of joy. There I was at work, laughing at something my student said, and out came a little pee. Yup, 27 years old, and I peed my pants while teaching high schoolers. Good thing I was wearing black yoga pants (yeah I lived in yoga pants...cheaper than maternity pants!) No where had I read that this would happen. I thought that was left to babies and old people, not young, healthy, pregnant women. Be warned!

 You WILL be an expert at peeing in a cup by the end of your pregnancy! 
I absolutely loved and looked forward to going to my midwife for my prenatal appointments. The one thing I will not miss is peeing in a cup as soon as you walk through the door. They give you cups that are so tiny, and being women, we don't have the same kind of aim as men do. After the first few months and many accidental splatters, drips, and misfires, I finally became an expert. It's a good thing I was always drinking water and could pee on command!

 Your husband will have pregnancy symptoms too! 
I thought when you were pregnant you were supposed to get all sorts of crazy cravings. Well that didn't happen to me. The only thing I craved was cake, and lots of it. My husband on the other hand craved cake, McDonalds, ice cream, ect. He also started to feel nauseated in the mornings and got heartburn. All classic signs of pregnancy. I was starting to feel a little jealous that he was getting all the cravings and I was not. Also, I couldn't be the only one who was feeling like crap and he taking care of me since we both were.

 You don't have to break the bank on maternity clothing! 
I went throughout my entire pregnancy and never bought a stitch of maternity wear, seriously! I went shopping in the beginning and realized what a gimmick it all was. Highly over priced with a limited selection that you were soon to grow out of. So I went a different route. I bought Green Apple yoga pants (which are amazing bamboo pants). I Already had a pair so I wanted a few more. They stayed up around my waist as I grew and always kept their shape. I still wear them and they never got stretched out. I also bought the Bella Band so I could wear my pre-regnancy jeans - life and $$$ saver! Then I hit the Old Navy clearance rack and bought a bunch of shirts a size bigger (so it would fit in length over my belly) for $2.95. No need to spend so much money on clothing that is ugly! (plus you can say you wore your regular clothing your entire pregnancy, ha!)

 You might have more, way more, gas than usual! 
Oh that's right ladies, every time you bend over to grab something or each time you cough, you will let out a noisy bout of air (sometimes associated with that obnoxious dribble of pee we went over earlier). For those next 10 months you will have more gas than a teenage boy about to hit puberty. But here is the good news: you can blame it on the baby! You heard me right, when you let it rip just utter the words "the baby has gas" and trust me, no one will question it, and if they do it will probably be one of those awful pregnant women who have the "actual" pregnancy glow....so just waft it their way!

Wives tales are just that....TALES!
When you enter the last few weeks of your pregnancy and you've about had it with he lack of mobility, kicks to the ribs, and the 5 midnight pee sessions, you will get advice from various people to try out different ways to start labor. From eating 3 pineapples a day to having sex, nothing will start labor unless your baby is ready. So don't waste your time stressing that you haven't gone into labor after having spicy mexican food, or if you feel like you are, most likely it is just gas ;) So sit back and enjoy those last few moments of solitude and know that your little bundle will come, guaranteed, by 42 weeks!